Episode 127: 8 Tips to Build Self-Discipline at Work and in Life
Sara Murray
About
Sara Murray is a sales consultant, trainer, speaker, and host of the Prospecting on Purpose® podcast. She helps sales professionals and business leaders build stronger relationships, prospect with intention, and create pipelines that compound.
Through keynotes, workshops, coaching, and consulting, Sara teaches practical, relationship-first strategies that help people create meaningful connections, add value, and turn conversations into business opportunities.
Learn more about Sara, her programs, and speaking engagements HERE.
Watch the episode here
What if self-discipline is not a personality trait, but a skill you can strengthen
In this solo episode of Prospecting on Purpose®, Sara Murray explains how to build self-discipline without waiting for more motivation or trying to become a completely different person.
The central idea is simple: borrow proof from the version of you that already gets things done.
Sara shares eight practical tips for turning intentions into action, including creating hard deadlines, working backward from a date, using external accountability, reducing daily decision-making, designing your environment for success, and shrinking a big goal into one small first step.
Use the the tips to prospect more consistently, complete an important proposal, build a healthier habit, or finally act on a goal that keeps drifting. This episode will help you create a structure that makes following through easier at work and in life.
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN
• Why discipline is a skill, not a fixed personality trait
• How to find proof that you are already capable of following through
• Why deadlines and reverse-engineering create momentum
• How accountability buddies, coaches, and mentors support execution
• Why tying a goal to someone beyond yourself makes it more meaningful
• How making a decision once reduces decision fatigue
• Why designing your environment is more dependable than willpower
• How one small first step can overcome the urge to procrastinate
You do not need to create discipline from scratch.
Find an area where you already keep promises, meet deadlines, or show up consistently. That is your evidence.
Now point that same skill toward something new.
Related episodes
Episode 118: 8 Tips to Handle Overwhelm in Business and Life
https://www.saramurray.com/podcast/prospecting-on-purpose-8-tips-to-handle-overwhelm-in-business-and-life
Episode 34: Smashing the Plateau with David Shriner-Cahn
https://www.saramurray.com/podcast/episode-34-smashing-the-plateau-with-david-shriner-cahn
Explore all Prospecting on Purpose® episodes
https://www.saramurray.com/podcast
Or Listen on Your Favorite Platform
https://pod.link/1663074741
Episode Transcript
Sara Murray - Prospecting on Purpose®
Welcome to Prospecting on Purpose®. Today, we’re going to dig into how to strengthen self-discipline, which is something almost everyone finds challenging, myself included.
There are many reasons why this is an important topic, but in my opinion, the number-one thing in business that separates the rock stars from the people who are just spinning their wheels is intentional execution. Discipline is a major contributing factor for the people who can execute intentionally.
In this episode, we’re talking about ways to build accountability and discipline into your life and business so the goals you keep meaning to complete actually get done. The best part is that none of this requires you to become a different person.
What I really want you to pull from this episode is this: borrow proof from the version of you that already gets things done.
DISCIPLINE IS A SKILL, NOT A PERSONALITY TRAIT
One of the big mindset shifts we have to start with is challenging the stories we tell ourselves, such as, “I’m just not a disciplined person.”
We can fill in the blank in many ways: “I’m not an organized person,” or, “I’m bad at time management.” I’ve said that about myself too. Sometimes I really feel like I lack discipline in certain areas.
The first thing I want you to sit with is whether that story is actually true. Look for the other areas of your life where discipline is already showing up.
Discipline is not a personality trait that you either have or do not have. It is a skill we can build. It is a muscle we can strengthen, and it shows up unevenly across our lives. There are areas where you may be wildly disciplined and other areas where you are still a work in progress. Both things can be true at the same time.
BORROW PROOF FROM WHERE YOU ALREADY FOLLOW THROUGH
I’ll share an example from my real life that may resonate with a lot of our listeners. I do not feel very disciplined when it comes to exercise and working out. I know it is important, but it is something that easily gets pushed aside.
I am, however, incredibly disciplined about hitting my business goals. I can find proof of that in many different ways, including executing the numbers and delivering on deadlines.
About 19 months ago, I chose to stop drinking alcohol. A big reason was that I needed more hours in the day to get work done. I was traveling a lot, and I was getting sick when I traveled. If I am showing up to give a presentation for a team, I need to be healthy. I need to be able to wake up early, get work done, and work with my clients in Europe. Alcohol was a variable that was affecting many of those goals, so I stopped drinking.
Of course, it has been challenging. I like drinking. I like going to weddings, networking events, and industry dinners. Sometimes I feel a little lame ordering a mocktail while the rest of these high-profile people are sharing a bottle of red wine.
But I made a commitment to show up as the best version of myself for my clients and, of course, for myself. Having that “why” makes it easier for me to stay alcohol-free.
If I look at that area, I can realize that I am actually very disciplined. I’ve also been a pescatarian or vegetarian for 20 years. I am very disciplined about what I put into my body.
Now the question is whether I can translate that discipline to another area I am trying to improve, which is exercise. If I can be disciplined in those other areas, that is hard evidence that I am capable of doing it here because I have already done it before.
I do not need to invent that muscle from scratch. I already have it. I just need to point it toward something new.
For the exercise goal I am working on, there are a couple of ways I can approach it. I have to look at exercise as an activity that supports my business goals. It keeps me healthy. It helps me manage stress. If I am onstage speaking and see a picture of myself, I want to look like I fit into my dress.
I have to do the tasks that support the goal. I need to put it on the calendar and get a coach, which in this case means hiring a personal trainer. That is the same kind of structure I use for my business objectives.
That is your first move. Before we get into the tips, find your proof points. Where in your life are you already disciplined? Are you the person who shows up for your friends no matter what? Maybe it is how you show up for your kids or a habit you have maintained for years. Maybe you never miss a client deadline or forget to follow up on something.
Whatever it is, that is your evidence. It allows you to say, “I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it here.”
WHY EXTERNAL ACCOUNTABILITY WORKS
Before we run through the different tips for strengthening this muscle, I want to acknowledge that human beings procrastinate. It is not a character flaw. It is how we are wired, and nowadays, we have a lot going on.
There are so many inputs coming at us all the time. It is easy to become reactive instead of proactive. Many of us tend to do the urgent thing in front of us instead of the important thing that does not have a deadline, or the thing that requires us to assign a deadline for ourselves.
A big part of my success in business has been building in external accountability. I have incorporated it into my sales training too. Once we complete an in-person workshop with a team, everyone commits to the actions they are going to take, and I hold them accountable for those commitments.
When we build in external accountability, execution happens.
In almost every role, whether you are self-employed or work for an employer, some natural accountability infrastructure is already built in. You may have deadlines. A bid may be due. Your boss may need something by Thursday, or a client may be waiting for you.
Sometimes that existing structure is not enough, and we need to build a little more. Here are eight tips for strengthening the muscle.
TIP 1: HARD DEADLINES
If something does not come with a deadline, make one up for yourself.
Deadlines already exist in our roles, so the first move is to manufacture your own when you need one. I do not want you to overthink this. Pick a realistic date in the future, give yourself enough runway, put it on the calendar, and tell your boss, team, or client.
That is it. Create your own external deadline.
TIP 2: PUT THE DATE ON THE CALENDAR AND WORK BACKWARD
Once the date is on your calendar, work backward from there. This is one of my favorite strategies. It is very simple, but it is not always easy.
One of the things that has been successful for me in my prospecting and business-development efforts is hosting events. These may be networking events, hotel tours, virtual webinars, or something else.
The first thing you have to do to execute an event is choose a date for it to happen and put that date on the calendar. Then you work backward and reverse-engineer everything that has to happen before it.
If I am hosting an event, I have to book the venue, pay the deposit, create the invitation, share it with my team, invite attendees, order food, prepare the demos, and structure the tour groups. Whatever the tasks are, they layer and ladder up to one another. Eventually, they lead to a great event and a strong return on investment.
In my experience working with many different teams over the years, a lot of people talk about doing the thing but never do it. They may say they are going to run a webinar series all year, but they execute one webinar. It takes them five months to do it, they talk about it for the five months leading up to it, and they talk about it for eight months afterward.
We all know those people. Some of us may be those people, and that is okay. But it is not going to put you into rock-star status. You have to be someone who can walk the talk, and the way we do that is through execution.
Put a date on the calendar for the task. Identify the steps you need to complete, and then start taking those steps.
When you publicly commit to the date, book the room, and put money down, you force yourself to do the work. You can turn things out when there is a date pulling you forward.
If you have a big, scary goal that keeps drifting, do not start with the to-do list. Start with the date, and then work backward.
TIP 3
This works for some people and not for others, but get yourself an accountability buddy.
It is easy and free. Pair up with someone who is pursuing similar goals. It could be a colleague or a fellow entrepreneur. Set a standard check-in every other week or once a month for 15 or 30 minutes. Run through the targets you want to achieve, and then report back on how you actually did.
I find this especially useful for prospecting because prospecting is something people may not love, and it is very easy to push aside when other things are coming at you.
If you tell your accountability buddy, “I’m going to reach out to 10 prospects this week, just two a day, and I’m going to check in with you on Friday and let you know I did it,” the commitment suddenly becomes more real.
It is like assigning yourself homework. You do not want to show up on Friday and admit that you did not do the work.
Self-assigned peer pressure is a good mark of adulthood, and it works. Try it. Find yourself an accountability buddy.
TIP 4
If you want to level up the accountability, work with a coach or mentor.
Some organizations offer coaches to their employees. Some of you have great bosses who hold you accountable. If yours does, take them up on it. If not, seriously consider finding that support for yourself.
External accountability has been a significant component of my own success. I have always worked with a coach. Because it works, I have implemented it into the services I offer my clients.
I need my clients to experience the success of increased sales, and a major part of that success is creating the structure and space to hold them accountable for executing the program.
I know this works for me in business, which means I am now going to deploy it in the area where I am lacking discipline: consistent exercise.
I hired a personal trainer. I will work out with him twice a week because I know this structure works for me. It is time to extend it into this area.
Part of recording this podcast is telling all of you so that I hold myself accountable.
TIP 5: TIE YOUR GOAL TO SOMEONE BEYOND YOURSELF
What I have learned about my own wiring is that I do not always show up for myself simply for the sake of showing up for myself. If I am showing up for someone else, that helps me show up more intentionally.
We keep promises to other people far better than we keep promises to ourselves. It is easy to cancel on yourself, but you will move mountains to avoid letting a friend, family member, or team member down.
That is part of the secret behind my commitment not to drink alcohol. It is never just a promise to me. It is a promise to my clients.
When you have a goal that keeps slipping, attach it to someone beyond yourself. Ask, “Who does it serve when I follow through?” Maybe it is your family, your team, or your clients who deserve the best version of you.
That helps me take the commitment outside myself and strengthens my motivation.
In my personal-training example, I am putting it on the calendar, working backward, and putting money on the line. But another reason personal training works for me is that, if I take up space on someone’s calendar and then cancel or flake, I affect that trainer’s income.
I affect their earning potential because I reserved time that someone else could have booked. If I do not show up, I cost that trainer money, and I would never want to do that to another person. As sad as it may sound, that really helps motivate me.
TIP 6: MAKE THE DECISION ONLY ONCE
Going back to my commitment not to drink, one reason it works is that I am not exhausting myself by making the decision again at every event, client dinner, or wedding.
I decided once. I said I was not going to drink alcohol, and that eliminated a lot of thinking about drinking. I do not have to spend my time reconsidering it because the decision has already been made.
Compare that with someone who wakes up every day and asks, “Am I going to work out today or not?” That negotiation time is expensive and exhausting. It drains you before you even do the thing.
Decide once. Make it the same time and the same place. Make it non-negotiable.
I am going to show up for my accountability buddy. I am going to show up for my personal trainer twice a week.
When it is a rule instead of a daily debate, you stop burning willpower on the question and save it for the work.
TIP 7: DESIGN THE ENVIRONMENT, NOT THE WILLPOWER
Willpower is unreliable. We get tired, especially at the end of a long day when we do not have anything left in the tank.
Instead of leaning on willpower, set up your environment to do the heavy lifting for you.
In the exercise example, maybe that means laying out my gym clothes the night before so the first step is already halfway done. If you are trying not to drink or eat junk food, do not keep it in the house.
If you want to accomplish a lot the following week, set up your week the Friday before. Time-block the deadlines on your calendar. Time-block the reverse-engineered tasks you need to complete.
Set up your world in advance so the disciplined choice is the easy and obvious one, while the tempting choice requires more effort to reach.
TIP 8: SHRINK THE COMMITMENT TO ONE SMALL FIRST STEP
When a goal feels very big, we freeze because we do not know where to start. Make the entry point so small that it almost feels silly.
Instead of saying, “I’m going to work out for an hour,” or, “I’m going to walk 10,000 steps,” sometimes my goal is simply to put on my sneakers and get out the door.
Do not tell yourself you have to write the entire proposal. Open the document, put your phone in another room, and work on it for 10 minutes.
Once your shoes are on, you usually take the walk. Once you begin that 10-minute work block, you often find a flow and finish the task.
A 10-minute work block or a 10-minute walk beats the perfect one-hour workout you keep putting off.
FINAL RECAP
Discipline is not something you are born with or without. You already have proof that you can follow through. You just need to find it and borrow it for the area you are focusing on now.
Here are the eight tips again:
Create your own hard deadlines.
Put the date on the calendar and work backward.
Find an accountability buddy.
Work with a coach or mentor.
Tie the goal to someone beyond yourself.
Make the decision only once.
Design the environment instead of relying on willpower.
Make the first step so small that you cannot say no to it.
I hope this helps you. Try some of these strategies this week, and let your action become the proof point for the next thing.
If something here resonated, please share it, promote it, write it down, or listen again.
I also want everyone to give themselves some grace. We are all out here doing our best. I am pretty sure this episode is going to air on a Wednesday instead of a Tuesday because I did not get it done in time, and I give myself grace for that.
Thank you so much for listening to Prospecting on Purpose®. I hope you enjoyed the episode, and we will see you next week.
Connect with Sara Murray
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@saramurraysales
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/saramurraysales/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saramurraysales/
Listen on your favorite Podcast Player: https://pod.link/1663074741
