No matter the time of the year, taking part in a networking event does wonders for your business and professional relationships. With different types of gatherings to join, you can expose yourself to a wide range of opportunities. You just need to be strategic about attending them and never lose sight of your goals. Whether you are a social butterfly or a bit of an introvert, Sara Murray is here to present the dos and don’ts of joining networking events. She explains how to tap into your connection points the right way, the immense power of small talk, the best approach to leveraging online opportunities, and a lot more.
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The Dos And Don'ts Of Attending A Networking Event
The holiday season is one of my favorite times of the year. First, because I love holiday food and drinks. However, I am allergic to cinnamon. That's a little bit of a dangerous time of year for me. If any of the readers have a cinnamon allergy or know someone who has a cinnamon allergy, please send me a note. I have an unofficial mental list going and so far, I've met five other people allergic to cinnamon.
Second and most importantly, this time of year gives a natural structure to gather together like holiday parties, industry events, and end-of-the-year celebrations. Our calendars can sometimes get a little bit overwhelmed during this time of year but no matter what time of year it is, networking is a crucial part of prospecting. One of the easiest ways to do it is by putting yourself in situations where you can network.
Some people squirm at the idea of networking events. It can be especially uncomfortable to attend them alone or put yourself in a situation where you don't know anyone. For this episode, we're going to cover the do's and don'ts of attending networking events. I'll have helpful tips along the way whether you're a social butterfly or someone who's working on getting more comfortable with networking.
Different Types Of Networking Events
At the end of this episode, I do have a short script that you can use when people ask you, “What do you do,” and how we can pivot that question to make us more memorable and not get stuck and talk about our name and roles. I'm going to first cover the types of networking events out there. These can come in all forms like business mixers, holiday parties, office parties, grand openings, showroom openings, facility tours, alumni events, community events, charity events, and so on.
They all lend themselves to great opportunities for in-person networking. Other opportunities for in-person networking are industry events, conferences, and trade shows. If you were attending one, make sure you're looking at the full agenda so that you can maximize your efforts at the event. Walking the floor is great but if you make an effort to attend opening parties, networking breakfasts, and panel discussions, that's where you can start to do some more hands-on networking.
I went to a conference earlier in 2023 and one of my friends was the speaker on the panel. I wanted to take some photos of her on stage because it's important to have and it's tough to take if you're on stage. I took the photos. They turned out great and I had all of the other panelists in them. After the event, I was chatting with one of the panelists. I shared with her one of the takeaways that I got from her presentation and then I showed her the pictures I took. I said, “Do you want me to text you these photos?” She was so grateful.
What an easy way to get an emotional bank account deposit and I ended up with her contact details. If you don't know what I'm talking about here on this concept of the emotional bank account, please go back and read Episode 21: The Art of Relationship Building in Business. There are a lot of ways that networking events give us this opportunity to make emotional bank account deposits.
The next couple of categories offer both in-person and online networking opportunities, roundtable discussions, and Meetup groups. These are great because they usually attract folks who have common interests whereas workshops and seminars are usually tailored towards providing education and skill-building. Those are found at conferences but there are so many one-hour virtual workshops available online. It's such an untapped opportunity for networking.
DO Set Up Clear Objectives
Why I like any type of these events is that if you are attending a workshop with somebody else, you automatically have something in common with the other attendees. It lends itself to an instant icebreaker. After the event, you could say, “What did you think? I got this out of it as a takeaway. I can't wait to try this.” It's an easy structure to start that conversation. Let's get into some specific do's and don'ts of attending a networking event.
We're starting with our do's. First up, do set clear objectives. Why are you going? What do you want to achieve? Do you want a specific person, to gain industry knowledge, see the space, understand what the association is about, maybe check out the competition, or make new friends? It's okay if you don't know what you're going to go into it and what your objective is.
Maybe your objective is to understand if this is the type of event that you would want to push your business forward. Maybe you're trying to get out there more and improve your networking skills. Maybe you want to host your networking event and you're looking for ideas. Having any type of objective is going to help drive you to show up on the day of the event and make the most of it.
Networking Event: Having any type of objective will help drive you to show up to a networking event and make the most of it.
DO Understand Who Your Host Is
Next up is to understand who your host is. Who is putting on the event? Is it a vendor, a client, or a prospect? Is an association hosting the event? If you understand who your host is, then you can say thank you when you run into them. Hosting an event is a huge lift. It takes a lot of work and money. If it's worth it for you and your business, I have a future episode coming about how to host a networking event.
Expressing gratitude to the host is not only polite but also a deposit in their bank account. They will appreciate you taking the time to thank them and they will remember that you did. Nice manners aside, it's going to push that relationship forward. Another important thing about doing your research ahead of time is that you will have a better understanding of who will be there and who you want to meet.
Another important thing about doing your research ahead of time is that you'll have a better understanding of who will be there and who you need to meet to push your business forward. For example, if the event is hosted at a client or prospect’s office and during your research you see on their website that the owner of the company or the manager of the firm is so and so. They have a picture on their website. It can be great to keep an eye out if you want to meet them at the event but let's say they're not staying at the event. You may run into them in the parking lot as they're running out the door.
Networking Event: Do your research before going to a networking event. Know the people who will be there and which one you have to meet to push your business forward.
I can probably count a dozen times when I met key decision-makers in the elevator or the parking lot and I knew who they were based on my research. I have the opportunity to shake their hand, exchange business cards, and send a follow-up. Honestly, it takes a lot of the pressure off of attending the networking event because you meet the big boss on the way in the door.
Here’s another important piece about understanding who your host is and this is particularly helpful for introverts. If you can research ahead of time who they are, you have someone to look for when you arrive. It gives you an anchor point or something to do when you get there. They're organizing the party. They're already there at the start time. It's a built-in icebreaker to introduce yourself and thank you for hosting them.
I was working with a client who is an architectural photographer and she just moved to a new city, which meant she had to start from scratch building her book of business. We were looking at a local architectural association, the AIA, or the American Institute of Architects. One of the committees had an event happening the day after we were speaking. I said, “You got to go to the event.” She was nervous about attending the event because she was a photographer. She was concerned that it was only catered to architects or that only architects were allowed to join this committee.
Right on the website, it listed the committee chairs and where they worked. I told her to call and ask them if a photographer would be appropriate to attend. She did. They said, “Of course.” It was a perfect reason for her to reach out. What was so great is that when she showed up, the host already knew she was coming and he ended up introducing her to everyone there and presenting her as a potential resource to their firms. If you know who your host is, it will serve you well.
Our next do is an easy one. Be prepared. Bring business cards, digital and/or printed. Make sure you have a stash handy. It sucks to be at an event without one. I keep a couple of cards in my phone case because you never know where you're going to need one. Another way to be prepared is to consider the dress code for the event. If it's a holiday party at a law office, you probably need to wear something a little bit more professional. If it's a networking event with pub trivia, you can dress more casually. Dress for the occasion.
DO Invite Clients Or Prospects
Another do is to invite clients or prospects. What a great way to reach out to someone and say, “I'm attending this event. I thought you'd be interested because of XYZ. I hope to see you there.” Even better, if you have an expense account, offer to buy their ticket for them. Even if they don't attend the event or respond to your email, it's an easy way to reach out and add those emotional bank account deposits without asking for business or pushing your product.
DO Bring A Wingman/woman
Our next do is to bring a wingman or a wingwoman. If you were uncomfortable in large groups, consider attending with a colleague or a friend. Having someone familiar can make it easier to approach others together. I like to use a wingwoman or wingman and find people at the event by themselves and approach them together. It's a nice gesture and that's the whole point of why we're there. However, there's also a don't when it comes to wingmen and we will dress it when we get to the don'ts.
Do Be A Croissant, Not A Bagel
Our next do is to be a croissant, not a bagel. You may have heard this one. If you haven't heard it, I read this somewhere and I liked it. I've heard it a couple of times. I researched it to give it proper credit. A book by Robbie Samuels called Croissants vs. Bagels reads, “Picture those tight networking circles at events. Those are the bagels. If someone opens up their body language and makes space for others to join the circle, voila croissant. Set the intention to meet people and your body language will reflect your intention.”
Networking Event: Set the intention to meet people in a networking event. Your body language will reflect your intention.
DO Participate In Event Programming
Be a croissant. If you see a croissant, have the green light to go ahead and approach it. A simple icebreaker is, “Do you mind if I join you, guys?” That's all it takes. Do participate in event programming. If there's a name tag that they give you when you show up or there's an icebreaker game, lean into it and have fun with it. It’s there for a reason. It's a crutch to help jumpstart conversations. Use those tools that they're giving you.
Do Connect At The Event
If there's no event programming, make some of your own unofficially. Ask people what you think the best bird is. Let’s say you're listening to a podcast on the drive over and the host keeps talking about what is the best bird. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go back and listen to Episode 4 of this show, Why Icebreakers Work for Prospecting. Do connect at the event. It's easier than having a stack of cards to follow up with at a later date.
Our next do is to get their contact information at the event while you're talking to them. It's a lot easier than having a stack of cards to follow up with later and it can at least get that initial momentum going while you're both standing there. The easiest way is, “Let's connect on LinkedIn,” and do it while you're talking to them.
If you're having a deeper conversation where you find some common ground, use that to get their phone number or email address. “Let me grab your phone number. I'll text you that podcast episode I was telling you about. Let me grab your email. I'll send you the book we discussed. I'll send it to you in a LinkedIn message.” Find those connection points and then do it.
DO Follow Up With People
Our final do is to follow up with the people you've met especially if there's business to be done. If you've taken the time to connect and find ways to add value, then the business conversation should be significantly smoother and that is why we love networking events. It humanizes us and gives us an opportunity to share our authentic selves.
DON’T Just Talk With People You Already Know
On to the don'ts. If you show up with a wingman or a wingwoman, a friend or a colleague, don't spend the whole night talking to people you already know. The whole point of being at a networking event is for business development. You can divide and conquer, check in with each other, approach other groups, and start conversations together but do not be attached at the hip.
The whole point of being at a networking event is for business development.
DON’T Discount Online Opportunities
I also know that I hit on this at the beginning of the episode but don't discount the online opportunities. If somebody is hosting a virtual event and you’re on it, if there's time for Q&A, ask a question. The host loves interaction. You're going to make yourself more memorable by adding dimension to the event. Usually, other people have the same questions and it gives them a reason to reach out to you.
On the flip side, if you're at an online event and someone asks an insightful question, send them a direct message on Zoom or find them on LinkedIn, send a note, and say, “I appreciated that question. We may have some things in common. Would you mind if we connected here?” I've met so many interesting business connections through online structured events so don't discount the online networking opportunities.
DON’T Ask What Someone Does
This one is a big one. I don't want to say, “Don't ask what do you do,” instead, “Don't only ask what do you do?” This question is inevitable at networking events. It goes name, and then what do you do or who are you with? This may be predominant in the United States but for readers outside of the US, I'd be interested to hear if these are the types of conversations that are happening at your networking events. Please send me a note.
It is a big American thing where we attach our identities to our roles and the companies that we work at. Something that I see for my sales capacity time and time again, and it is such a pet peeve of mine so I'm bringing it up here, is when you ask, “What do you do?” Let's say you’re a sales professional and you meet another salesperson. You are hoping to meet potential clients at this event.
I can't tell you how many times I've introduced myself to someone. They find out I'm a fellow sales professional and they turn and walk away to find someone who could be a potential client. It's like my existence wasn't worth their time of day. It's important to not spend the whole time talking to people who can't buy from us but if you don't take the time to quickly establish a relationship with the person you meet, you shut out so many business opportunities. You leave money on the table by not understanding how that person can be a point of contact for one another. You want to add value to each other.
Networking Event: If you don’t take the time to quickly establish a relationship with the person you meet, you shut out many business opportunities and leave money on the table.
I'm going to share a story that happened to me. It was my first networking event after I left my corporate role and then I'm self-employed. It was the first time I wasn't attached to a product that I was selling or a company name that I was selling. It was weird. It was like having a piece of my identity missing because I didn't have that name attached to my name. This particular event was hosted by an association that I have been involved with for ten years. I've served on the board of directors for three of the years. I knew half the people there so it was important for me to be there and I wanted to share that I'd started my business.
I met a man. We're going to call him John. There are lots of Johns out there but he was new to this group and his company. We met each other and explained what the other one does. The second he found out I was a potential client, I was dropped like a sack of potatoes. He turned away from me and went to the next person. I was shocked. My jaw dropped that someone could be that disrespectful to someone else.
With this story, some of my feathers being ruffled have to do with my ego. I'm able to see this but looking at this gentleman, he didn't take any time to understand who I was, why I was there, or what my association was with the group. He shot himself in the foot because he made a lot of assumptions about me. I could have introduced him and I would have introduced him to half the people there. I could have told him which clients to focus on for the market for his level of product.
I could have given him a list of gatekeepers that he needed to connect with. I would have gone around and introduced him to designers that were there because I knew the clients that were there but I didn't because he turned and walked away from me the second he thought he couldn't get anything from me. He made a mistake walking away because he made a lot of assumptions. This isn't limited to this story. There is so much opportunity.
If you take the tiniest bit of time to connect, non-competing sales professionals can collaborate, share leads, tackle projects together, host joint events, invite different contacts to lunch, or start their networking groups. There's so much power in relationships with other sales professionals if you remain open to the opportunity but this kills me that people don't and it happens a lot. I'm glory to be open because you never know the background of the person you're talking to and the types of doors they can open for you.
DON’T Monopolize Conversations
Our next don’t is don’t monopolize conversations. This is something I have to work on when I have adrenaline going or if it's quite a group. I find myself trying to fill the space. It's important to focus on being interested as opposed to being interesting. Episode 38 of the show is Improving Active Listening At Work In Eight Easy Steps and Episode 46: The Power of Intentional Silence. Both of those expand on these if you want some support there.
DON’T Be Too Aggressive On Your Agenda
Our next don't is don't be too aggressive on your agenda. It is essential to be proactive in your business development efforts but avoid being overly aggressive or pushy for your agenda. If you're at a networking event, this is specifically talking about pushing your product or service or trying to get meetings with people when you've just met them without any value upfront. People can see through that. It's not enjoyable. Those aren't the types of people we want to work with.
I'm going to guess the conversations that John was having fell into this category. The keyword I'm using is that they're trying to get something out of the prospect. If you stick with ABAV or Always Be Adding Value and find ways you can add to the other person, there's going to be an organic time to pivot to sales-generating activities but a networking event is not the time to jump into your sales pitch. It's okay if you're talking shop but keep it as a follow-up item for the future.
Networking Event: There will be an organic time to pivot to sales generating activities. A networking event is not the time to jump into your sales pitch. Keep it as a follow-up item for the future.
“Brenda, it was so nice to meet you. I loved our conversation about this. I'd love to connect more formally and show you how I can add value to your company with XYZ products. Would you mind if I set a follow-up time for your calendar? Can I take you to lunch?” That's when we do the business after we get that initial relationship built.
DON’T Complain Or Criticize
Our next don't is don't complain or criticize. You want to find connection points with other people but you do not want to have the connection point being complaining about how long the line is for the bathroom or, “I can't believe they are only serving tequila. I can't believe they don't have any vegetarian items. Parking was such a pain in the butt.” Those are icebreakers but they're not how we want to connect with other people.
The last thing you want to do is accidentally insult the host, have the wrong person overhear you, take your comment out of context, or be seen as a negative person because we don't want to work with negative people as a general rule. Even if you don't like something at the event, try to find something positive and use that as your connection point.
DON’T Overindulge
This one is obvious. Don't overindulge. Watch what you're drinking. Nobody wants to be other people's icebreakers pointing out, “Look how drunk that woman is?” It happens. Don't dismiss small talk. If somebody brings up something small, that's their version of an icebreaker. If they're throwing out the bait and the line, take them up on it and start a conversation. Be open to seeing people trying and meeting them halfway.
DON’T Flake
Our last don't is do your best not to flake. It's okay if you have to be at a networking event. I'm a big fan of listening to your body. If you don't have the social battery to go, that's okay but if you RSVP to the event, you have a little gas in your tank, and you waffle in a bit, do your best to go. It's always more fun when you get there. You'll catch a second wind.
One Final Tip
If you have your goals upfront, you're going to be able to leave early if you want to go home but you have a whole list of do's and don'ts to support you here if you're nervous. I'm going to implore you to get out and do your best to get there because once you get there, you're usually happy that you did. I do have one final tip here. I brought it up in the whole my pet peeve is what do you do and that's the only thing we discussed.
It is a common question. If you're asked that question, you want to have a clear and concise response handy but specifically in a social setting, I like to add an extra little piece after my introduction that shows a little bit about me and my authentic self. If I meet someone, I’m like, “My name is Sara. I'm a sales consultant. I specialize in supporting professionals prospecting and business development efforts but a current passion of mine is building a podcast.” You say your name and job but then you throw out another piece of bait that that person can grab onto. “My name is so-and-so. I'm a real estate agent but I will tell you I'm learning guitar. I might have to have a career change.”
Any type of hobby or interesting tidbit you have is a way to add to this. “I'm taking a pottery course. I just moved to this city. This is my first time at this association or meeting.” It gives the other person something to grab onto if they don't understand the company you work for. In my salesperson meets salesperson example, it gives you something to build a relationship on even if it's not work-related but it gives that opportunity to start the conversation besides just the, “What do you do?”
Networking Event: Most people will remember your passions and hobbies instead of your job and role in your company.
This defeats the purpose but most people will probably remember the passions and the hobbies that you discussed as opposed to what is the role at your company. “That's the girl with the podcast. This person's learning guitar. My brother is a professional guitarist. Maybe I can introduce you.” It's easy to be memorable and an easy way to build connections.
The business stuff happens organically after that connection is established. Networking events are huge opportunities to build that foundation. I hope that this episode gave you some structure on how to navigate those types of events. Good luck with your networking events. Happy networking and prospecting. Thank you so much for reading. I'll see you in the next episode.
Important Links
Episode 21: The Art of Relationship Building in Business – Past Episode
Why Icebreakers Work For Prospecting – Past Episode
Improving Active Listening At Work In Eight Easy Steps – Past Episode
Episode 46: The Power of Intentional Silence – Past Episode
